I am certainly no authority on marriage; nor do I claim to be. But every so often you come across something that makes you stop and consider. This video is one of those things.
A bit of background: My colleague, Mike, is recently married. He was actually married the week I started working at Look North. What is so special about this coincidence is I am able to celebrate my anniversary of having found a home at work, at the same time he is celebrating milestones as husband to Grace. Mike and I, along with Greg and Joanna ( another married couple I admire and also my colleagues) all love to eat, so we find many things to celebrate over good food. Beyond mealtime conversations between bites of falafel, and the daily web design and development process, we share personal triumphs too. Enter Mike and Grace's wedding trailer, below.
This video was poignant for lots of reasons. Primarily because I am a giant sap, but also because I believe in love. These kinds of messages are far too under publicized.
Marriage is a complicated institution, and is not an end all for happiness; not in the least. But for people who choose to enter into such a union, there are many stressful preparatory elements to consider, one of the most prominent being the wedding itself. There are television series (plural) focused on the monster like behavior some brides adopt during the planning phase. (Or maybe they were monsters to begin with?) Beyond this perversion of personality, there is the material preparation. The ring, the venue, the dress, the menu, the favors, the ceremony. The invitations too. All of these elements sometimes complicate the underlying objective: being married.
Please don't misunderstand me. Weddings are a significant event, one people likely envision for a long time before/if it happens. Planning an event, however, probably shouldn't receive more attention than cultivating the life you make with another person, a person you hopefully love. I more than most, love a good piece of cake and dressing up, but I also imagine the craze over the day itself is fleeting. The union entered will carry on far beyond that night, ideally. Depending on the size of your fete, finanical strain may last quite a while too! Side note: Invitations and confections are critical to any event, regardless. If you have need of these things, check out my uber talented cousin Angela.
Marriage shouldn't be a last resort, or an obligation. It shouldn't be a party and a honeymoon. Nor a construct of culture we have to conform to. It is not to be measured in the price tag of a gown, tally of utensils on the table, price per head, or number of karats. It should simply be a choice. A choice to love another person enough to confront this complicated world by their side, for better or worse. To be faithful. To think of him or her, before yourself...
But what do I know!? If you want to learn a thing or two about marriage, ask my Nana. She and Papa will be married 59 years, this November. He bought her an iPad; bless them.