Loving someone isn't always tidy. It's muddled. Hot, cold and all varying degrees in between. Like powdered sugar all over your face, it's still a beautiful thing. A circumstance to savor. Despite the inclination to do so, you don’t necessarily want to neaten it right away.
I’m especially grateful for my loved ones as I can be a bundle of emotions, and seek assurance more than the typical person. Mama says I have been this way since I was little. On Christmas, I was looking at old family photos with my sister. She had the biggest grin in all of them, holding me close to her side as if declaring to the world, “this is my baby sister.” I smiled often, of course. But in other photos, I wore a serious gaze. To this day my Dad can identify this gaze. He says, “what are you thinking about, Francesca. I see the smoke coming from your head.” While I can try with all my might to change, or lessen my introspective lapses, it makes more sense to own my intricacies and leverage them for the better.
My dear friend Sophie shared these words from Khalil Gibran with me years ago... "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children."
One to shed a tear with ease, as stories and realities move me readily to waterworks, these words give me solace. And while my family really has no choice but to tolerate my spectrum of feelings, my indecision, and vulnerability, I know their love is voluntary.
This Sunday, I made something that wasn't neat, but was more than worthwhile, using my new Lodge Aebleskiver pan, a Christmas present I will cherish. If I had my way there would be doughy goodness, with a hidden surprise of cookie spread in the middle every Sunday. And while love takes patience, these Danish pancakes are best served hot, so dig in immediately.
4 eggs, separated
1 tablespoon sugar
2 cups flour (Note: the original recipe recommends cake flour)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 cup of butter, melted
Just under 2 cups milk
Amoretti Creamy Speculoos Natural Cookie Spread
Lodge Cast Iron Aebleskiver pan
This recipe is slightly adjusted from Lodge Cast Iron's A Skillet Full.
Separate yolks from the eggs. Beat egg yolks until lemon colored.
Sift together dry ingredients and add to the yolks alternately with the butter and milk.
Fold in stiffly beaten egg whites. Place a small amount of oil in the wells of Aebleskiver pan and fill 2/3 with batter. Add a small serving, about ½ teaspoon, of cookie spread to each. It will sink into the batter.
Cook over medium heat until the balls begin to bubble. Gently flip using a fork. Traditionally, the aebleskivers are flipped using knitting needles. Turn each over several times to brown on all sides and ensure they are baked through.
Serve hot with powdered sugar. Then call someone who is patient with you despite your flaws, and thank them.