A Light from Ahead

Working for a passionate team of designers and developers, albeit a short while, has exposed me to a wealth of resources. Not only professionally enriching in nature (I have been taking lessons in HTML and CSS for the past few weeks now!), but also inspirational. A source I visit frequently, Happy Cog's Cognition, churned out this gem and I am so thankful for it that I must share: What I Wish I Had Known When I Graduated College.

It was affirming to hear calming words of reassurance from an established professional, who has already weathered the volatile years right out of school. She confirms that the unease myself and peers undeniably feel is quite prevalent, and that we are not alone in the fear that we have somehow failed, already. She provides a welcome light from ahead. 

I quit more than my fair share of jobs (3 to be exact. Yes 3, and don't you judge) Primarily, I quit because I knew I could not sustain something that  a) I was not passionate about or b) would not gradually lead to a state of contentment. I am well aware that good things take time and I am young, but in these positions I think I was going in reverse.  My dreams were somewhere far, far away atrophying. My brain was seemingly turning to mush while insensitive folks belittled my aspirations. Knowing what I do now, I would have lowered my expectations and concealed my emotions, but I am also quite pleased I left jobs that did not make me happy. For some, it is hard to walk away from something. I practically ran! And even in these jobs, I met some wonderful companions I keep in touch with to date and learned a lot about social constructs and life in general; there is always a silver lining. These lessons will serve me on into perpetuity. I vow to remember what it was like to be naive and afraid, as I proceed through my career.  

Beyond the work itself being poorly fitted to my strengths, I also thought I deserved to be treated with some degree of respect no matter how small my position was. Maybe I am too sensitive, or conversely some were way too insensitive. Either way, I cling tightly to the belief that all people share the sanctity of existence and should be treated as such. This is not always the case in our society, but I will maintain my position. 

An illness in my immediate family brought me from DC, home to New Jersey and I had the chance to start over in a way. A stint in nannying after these few hellish work experiences gave me some much needed reprieve from the aggression and misery I felt at work. I really quite enjoy adventures playing Mary Poppins. I got to dabble for a while and stumbled upon a Web Design firm looking for a Project Manager. It has been only a few months, but I could not be happier. The people I work with are passionate, capable, and supportive. They build me up rather than condemn ideas and fervor. They welcome my enthusiasm and desire to contribute, helping me develop new skills. The workplace is a collaborative environment and I am contented to be "working". I actually feel like a full-time learner. Furthermore, in web development and design there is a multitude to learn. So much, that this should keep me occupied for a long while, thankfully. My fancy degree in Marketing and Entrepreneurship taught me how to think strategically  and now it is time to hone a skill, to become a maker of something. Selling is important, but I want to create something new. It would also benefit me to patient and have respect for the winding road.

I know for a fact many of my peers can commiserate with me. Have a look at Sophie's article, andthank you Sophie for sharing your wisdom. It is a much appreciated and necessary message for my generation. College lessons, social pressures, and inflated expectations have bred us to expect success and prestige instantaneously. Instead if we commit to learning something new everyday, practice kindness, and endeavor to find the fulfillment we deserve, we can create our best selves. And maybe by committing to this sort of path, we are already a success. 

To echo Sophie, we'll be fine. 

Gratitude

Rainy days and Mondays, always get me... thinking. I know they are supposed to get you down, but maybe if we take a moment to reflect, they can make us grateful.

Mondays come after the weekend. Depending on your profession, the weekend is typically a time to relax. If not relax, at least provide an opportunity to accomplish the things you could not get to during the week. Work or other responsibilities got in the way of doing what you had intended. Weekends allow much needed time to catch up, reconnect with your family, get much needed rest, or  revisit a hobby you have neglected. (This sadly does not apply to my boyfriend, a chef, who works through his weekend, but I am speaking generally.) If you are successful in even tackling a small fraction of this long running list of to-do's, the Monday after just might give you a sense ofaccomplishment.

Beyond catch up, the weekend is comprised of social outings and recreation, typically. The assumption being that people work Monday through Friday, the weekend is when the social being in us seeks fulfillment and connection. My weekend was full of such encounters. To start, I attended a Wounded Warriors Amputee softball game. Now, that was lovely to behold. Our nation's wounded heroes not hardened by their fate, but rather rejoicing in their abilities. Surely a new way of doing things, batting with one arm, but no less an ability, and in my opinion a more refined ability than batting with two. It afforded me some valuable perspective and gave me hope in the human spirit.

Next came a benefit for Cancer Survivors, that my sister organized. It was a lovely celebration to commemorate fighting a severe disease and winning, or continuing to fight it with resolve. It was another showcase of courage, and provided me yet another opportunity to look at the important things in life more closely. Resilience against an aggressor, faith in the process, and appreciation for the moment. Give us this day...

Lastly, friends and I danced away at a Portuguese festival: Sangria in hand, sun overhead, and smoked barbecue in the air. A language I did not understand blaring through the speakers, as couples ranging from their teens to their seventies danced in unison, with zeal for life and love of one another. If you had a weekend anything like that, the Monday after just might give you a sense of contentment.

Now what if we move away from the Monday itself, and tackle the rain? What is so wrong with the rain anyway? We get so bothered and depressed but really, it's a life source. It fuels the growth of plant life and in an abstract way, hydrates the body. Rain represents something beautifully cyclical. It waxes and wanes as needed. (Ideally, it is not absent for too long or else we will have some issues!) Certainly, rain might interrupt your fun, cancel a ball game, or force you to rethink the beautiful attire you planned on wearing out to make your ex jealous. And yes, it may pale in comparison to a breathtaking sunny day. But more importantly, it forces you to focus, slow down perhaps. Drive slower. Stay inside to finish something important. Dabble in the kitchen before eating out. If said rain happens to coincide with a Monday, you might find yourself thinking. And this kind of rainy Monday, just might give you a sense of gratitude.

An Apple a Day

Let’s be frank. I am as capable as any average computer using young adult of my generation. Word processing, spreadsheets, basic template adjustment, and Google apps. Yes, these things I can manage. A few college courses in Management Science and Information Systems have enabled me to be less than useless in using software to manipulate and present data. Proud to be able to teach my parents and grandparents some skills that were not really relevant during their youths, these are competencies I value. 

That being said though, there is quite a bit I certainly do not understand. I have always been a PC user. Not sure how that happened, but I would guess it was an arbitrary purchase when my parents decided it was time for me to have a laptop for doing schoolwork. I can carry out the essential functions in Microsoft well, and even fool an unsuspecting individual into believing I am savvy with certain suites. I can make a mean Powerpoint presentation. Although I have heard the broad appeal of Apple software, I have never been a Mac user myself, unless you count iPod and iPhone use.

Not one to back away from a challenge, I am enthusiastic to enter this environment. Let’s face it. To compete in our society. To cope at all really, it is essential to get somewhat familiar and comfortable with advancements in technology. Hence, my 85 year old grandpa and his proficiency in texting and Microsoft Publisher. Sure, he still asks my sister and I why we are always using Spacebook and My Face. And if Instagram is like a telegram. But that is to be expected. It’s a daunting undertaking to learn everything there is to know about anything, let alone something as complex as “technology”. Partly, because it is forever changing. Regardless, might as well endeavor to become more skilled or worse, miss the bandwidth wagon.

As luck would have it, this moderately skilled PC user has found herself in an Apple powered Creative and Technology studio. Despite an eagerness to learn and a sincere interest in the technology sector, I have gone through life quite successfully with limited awareness of things like Web design and development. Sure, I am a child of the Social Media age, but there is a huge difference between picking a blog theme and building a custom site from scratch. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though. Before there is any ground breaking web work, I should probably learn how to use my Mac. 

I hope you enjoy this honest look at my journey, acclimating to a career in the Technology and Design sector. This is coming from a young lady that still writes to-do lists, rather than use a Smartphone task list, and sends a handmade greeting card in lieu of a Facebook message. I don’t tweet because I doubt anyone needs and/or even wants to know the every detail of my existence. Although maybe if my Nana used twitter, she would appreciate the immediate gratification of knowing where her loved ones were at all times. I am very fond of my Moleskin calendar and darling little stickers I use to highlight noteworthy events. Even if there is a Calendaring application that far exceeds pen and paper, I would hate to part with that day planner. I still read books. Actual books, like the ones with spines and pages, although I do have a Kindle I enjoy using in moderation. Cookbooks and magazines are other possessions I am hesitant to stop collecting. Just a look at what we are working with...

Looking North

One of the more prominent symbols in our culture, the North Star provides a stable vantage point both realistically as well as, and maybe even more importantly, metaphorically speaking. The North Star, or Polaris, appears stationary at all times, lying  directly overhead as seen from the North Pole. The other stars in the Northern sky rotate around it, taking cues from this reliable lead. Enter symbolism. It is probably a safe presumption that most people are searching for their own North star, purpose or meaning of some sort. A destination we can strive towards, approaching ever slowly, but steadily. Other commentaries identify the North Star as a symbol of the fulfillment of dreams. Sailors aligned their coordinates in relation to this mighty star in order to return safely home, and so we too align our behaviors so that in time we may navigate this world and create our ideal life. For the past two years, I have been a little lost in terms of work and finding my place. That being said, it is quite fitting that this story would begin for me, a self-proclaimed idealist, at a company called none other than Look North Inc. 

Relocating from Washington, DC to my home state of New Jersey brought me the opportunity to begin anew. And with some good fortune, I found my North Star. Situated in a charming Victorian home, this creative and technology studio has been in practice since 1996, providing the services of strategy and planning, user experience design, and web development among others for a slew of interesting clients. Their growing list of clients and projects necessitated the addition of another team member, a project manager, to organize the process. That’s my cue.

I graduated from Georgetown University two years ago with a double major in Marketing and Entrepreneurship and held a few positions that were less, well far less, than ideal. Here I was, a bright eyed recent graduate, inflated with the promise of a rewarding career and professional fulfillment that my professors so ardently instilled, stuck in jobs that felt quite hopeless. Day in and day out, I wondered if this was really what my schooling was supposed to prepare me for. So excited to graduate and start making my mark, I was left with a substantial void where my future prospects should have been, accompanied by a feeling of helplessness because I could not seem to figure out where I fit. I maintain it is important to have goals and to strive, but looking back I probably would have tempered those expectations just a bit. Ok, I should have tempered them leaps and bounds, but it was a chapter marked by much learning, a thicker skin, more realistic perspectives, and some needed patience. Are there greater sorrows in the world than an unpleasant work experience? You bet. But when conditioned to believe in the potential that life will hold, it can be quite demoralizing to leap into the unknown, lose your paddle and then have your compass stolen.  Thankfully, supportive people I met along the way provided much needed light for my journey.

Dunk Driving

Despite an incredibly long vacation from blogging, it has not been a vacation in the least from eating. Senior week festivities, graduation parties, dinner after dinner, and open bar after open bar spelled a foodie's celebration at its best. A week long adventure through Rome, Florence, and Assisi, this little lady was exploring culture the only way I see fit... through the stomach. Finally, home and settled after a whirlwind of highs and lows, happiness and anxiety. It has been a tumultuous few months, filled with lifestyle changes, rampant emotion, and consistent reflection. I always tended to be a thinker, but I never had all that much time with school to really ask myself the difficult questions like, what will I be and how the hell will I get there. Maybe it was for the better to be too occupied to ask these questions, because the problem with this line of personal interrogation is the fact that there are no clear cut answers. That's just life. I was always insulated from real life, thanks to the joys of a college education, summer vacations, and vigorous studying for exam after exam. Don't get me wrong, school is essential and a wonderful preparation for the real world, but it is also unrealistic when compared to the great beyond of the L word... life.

Those of you who know me, know that I am not the greatest driver. I haven't driven in four years, give me a break! Regina is the first to take over the wheel for fear of having to tolerate my driving. And mama loves to be behind the wheel so I usually defer to her no matter what the circumstance. On a rare occasion, I am in the car by myself and I have to be hyper vigilant or I will miss a turn... or five. Regardless though, the driving experience provides some continuity. For one, there is always music blaring. Additionally, more often than not, you are sharing the open road with someone you care about, whether family or friend. And last but not least, there is a Dunkin Donuts hazelnut iced coffee with some half and half in the cup holder. College developed in me a sever dependency on my coffee products. The funny part is I don't always drink the caffeinated variation; I just find comfort in the taste and what a cuppa joe represents. It is slightly sinful when you add some cool flavors or ten packets of sugar, but largely it is a safe choice next to soda and other frappa lappa doo dah complicated drinks. There is moderation in coffee, or at least there can be moderation if you train yourself, as I have had to. More than taste though, an iced coffee is fundamentally necessary to any long venture in the car. It is a mindless activity that can be sustained without detracting from concentration. It is a mobile meal, sometimes accompanied by greasy tater tots from Wendy's or those amazing deep friend french toast sticks. The only downfall is the part where the syrup ends up on your seat belt and sometimes yourself.

Long road trips with the radio playing your favorite recent hits, let us experience life as if it were a movie, just for a moment in time. Pretty in Pink or the Breakfast Club esque, the songs playing define your culture and generation. You sing along, whether or not you are in key. No one is there to judge you, or maybe it is the fact that the people in the car probably like you enough to tolerate your attempt at Barbara Streisand or Celine. Keep telling yourself that these soulful singers had their start in the back of a pickup truck, singing along to the Eagles of Earth, Wind, and Fire. Wind rushing beside you, sun shining through the roof, music, road, and iced coffee. Life of late has been a transition. I am not insinuating that it should be difficult in the least, but as any young recent graduate will tell you, its different. I have my health and an amazing support system so all in all, vita e' bella. But it is still a challenge to look forward without panicking. Your time is spent considering your happiness and future. The years of schooling have been endured, exams taken, and entry level jobs sought, and sometimes left. Sensory overload at its best. There is no control group in the experiment of young adulthood.

You just have to go forward and assess the journey at every juncture. I guess the important thing to remember is to be honest with yourself and look internally for the answers. Everyone's opinions are usually relevant in some way, as there is always a lesson to be learned even in the most unfortunate of circumstances. Even starting a job, to find out it made you miserable and scared the ever living bejesus out of you because it was so far from what you envisioned. But above all, the answers lie with you. Finding contentment in life has to originate from deep down. There is no manual for building a life we can be proud of, no algorithm, or even a wise sage that can tell you everything there is to know about finding fulfillment. Only God knows that, and he gave us the freedom to figure it out. So in short, taking an exploratory look at life and trying to really pinpoint what brings us joy whether we are 21 or 95, is a sound approach. And when you are dreadfully overwhelmed by the scary thoughts and anxious panic that sets in when you are trying to define yourself, your life, and your goals, grab the keys and an iced coffee, and hit the road. Let Rascal Flatts take you to the promise land of the open road, and after an hour or so, your world might start to make more sense.